Baik Punya Dr Gigi....

Ini Doktor bukan stakat kasi hilang Gigi....
Hilang Nyawa terus pon kemungkinan boleh jadi ni...hahahhahahaha

TULIH SURAT NOK MITOK TIANG GOL BARU KAT PADANG KAPPUNG.....GANU KITOOO

Survey on LIPSTICK

What happens to the Lipstick used by the ladies.


5% of the Lipstick is sticked to the cutlery.

25% of the lipstick goes to Tissue Paper & Cotton Tabs at the time of removeing the Make Up.

15% of the Lipstick goes in Drain at the Time of Washing Face & Lips.

10% is Dumpped in the Garbage as Unused.

5% of the Lipstick is found in the Womens Stomach Due to Newer Flavours & Essences.


And the remaing 40% of the Lipstick I Gaurantee you that you will find it in Man's Stomach.

p/s...just read...don't believe...huhuhuhu

Mak Apan Hilang

Pagi tadi di opis, dalam pukul 9, sedang gua kaver line klik fesbuk sikit sikit, Apan mundar mandir belakang gua dengan muka kusut masai.

Dari tadi gua tengok Apan hilang punca di sekitar sektor operasi. Muka macam ada masalah.

"Lu kenapa ni Apan?" - Gua tanya demi meminta kepastian. Gua dengan Apan ni kira ngam juga la. Budak Kedah, umur muda sikit dari gua dan tak berapa hensem. Kalau tatap muka dia lama lama boleh naik menyampah juga.Dia baru setahun kerja dengan kompeni gua. Sebelum masuk sini, Apan banyak hendel bisnes sendiri dan selalu rugi.

"Mak gua hilang la.." - Apan berbisik perlahan.

Gua punyala terperanjat!

"Mak lu hilang?, bila hilang?" - dada gua tiba tiba mengepam keluar masuk laju laju. Berdebar tak payah cakap la, kencang macam kuda.

"Petang semalam..dah cari merata tak jumpa".

Apan berlalu meninggalkan gua menuju ke bahagian budak budak human resource. Gua tak tahu apa benda yang dia sedang fikir dalam kepala. Gua nak tanya lebih lebih risau kena pukul pula.Apa yang gua tahu sikit sikit, mak dia memang duduk rumah tak kerja, ayah dia kerja penolong kanan lagi dua tiga tahun nak pencen.

****

Kira kira lima belas minit kemudian, dari jauh gua nampak Apan berjalan semula masuk ke sektor operasi. Kali ni muka dia tak kusut macam tadi dah, sebaliknya ceria macam muka Lan kumpulan the typewriter.

"Mak gua dah jumpa.." - kelegaan jelas terpampang di bibir Apan.

Gua cepat cepat bersyukur:

"Alhamdulillah...Jumpa kat mana?",

Dan dengan penuh keceriaan, jujur, ikhlas, tawadduk serta wajah disinari warna warni rama rama yang tiada belas kasihan pada gua, Apan membalas padu:

"Dalam sinki penteri."

Gua terus tendang kompiter sampai bersepah atas lantai.

MUG la Apan..MUG..!!, pronunciation macam jahanam!

Sia sia gua berdebar. Pagi pagi sudah bikin hati membara.

KEDAH VS KLATEE...

Loghat mana lebih munasabah?

Timbul persoalan, loghat daerah manakah yang lebih munasabah di antara loghat utara dengan
loghat pantai timur?

Jawapannya: Loghat pantai timur (Kelate) adalah munasabah..

Bahasa Melayu standard:
"Dia pergi ke rumah jiran untuk mencari emaknya tetapi setelah sampai di situ didapati emaknya tiada."

Loghat Utara (kedah):
"Dia pi ghumah jiran nak caghi mak dia, pi pi mak dia tak dak".

Loghat Pantai Timur (kelate):
"Dio gi ghumoh jire nok caghi mek dio, gi gi mek dio tak dok."

KESIMPULAN: Tidak mungkin pipi emaknya tiada; tetapi kalau gigi maknya tidak ada memang munasabahlah! ;-) ekekeke

Why Women Should Know Some English..

One day, an Ang Moh (Mat Salleh) from USA arrived at KLIA Airport After he checked out from the customs, he felt he needed to go to the toilet, so he looked for one.

When he found the toilet, there was a lady sitting at the entrance. When he was about to enter the toilet, the lady stopped him and asked for forty cents in Cantonese ("SEY KOK"). The Mat Salleh wondered why in MALAYSIA they have to "SEE THE COCK" before entering the toilet? So he said "no" but the lady insisted. Since he had no choice, he took out his cock and showed it to her.

The lady said "No! No! DUIT, DUIT!" (money in Malay), but the Ang Moh misunderstood again and thought that she said "DO IT! DO IT!" So he asked, "Now? Here?" The lady replied "Yes, yes!" because she doesn't quite understand English..

The Ang Moh thought that she wanted to have sex with him, so he stripped the lady and made love to her. The lady started screaming and shouted, "SAKIT! SAKIT!" (pain in Malay),
and the Ang Moh thought it was "SUCK IT! SUCK IT!" He said "OK! I will suck it for you" and took both breasts and suck them.

The lady again screamed "Oh, TUHAN!" (Oh, MY GOD....in Malay).
The Ang Moh misunderstood again. "Too HARD?
OK, sweetheart, I'll be gentler a bit," the Ang Moh replied.

Suddenly, a security guard walked by, so the lady shouted for help, "TOLONG! TOLONG, ENCIK!" The Ang Moh replied, "Not too long, just 6 inches only."

Short Relationship Jokes

Wife: "You always carry my photo in your wallet. Why?"
Hubby: "When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your picture and the problem disappears."
Wife: "You see how miraculous and powerful I am for you?"
Hubby: "Yes! I see your picture and ask myself, 'what problem could be greater than this one?'"

Husband: "What are you doing?"
Wife: "Nothing."
Husband: "Nothing? You've been reading our marriage certificate for an hour."
Wife: "I was looking for the expiration date."

A wife asked her husband, "What do you like most in me, my pretty face or my sexy body?"
He looked at her from head to toe and replied, "I like your sense of humor."

Boy: "When we get married, I want to share all your worries and troubles and lighten your burden."
Girl: "It's very kind of you, darling, but I don't have any worries or troubles."
Boy: "Well, that's because we aren't married yet."

Wife: "Do you want dinner?"
Husband: "Sure. What are my choices?"
Wife: "Yes or no."

WHAT WOMAN SAY & WHAT IT MEANS

CAN'T WE JUST BE FRIENDS?

There is no way in hell I'm going to let any part of your body touch any part of mine, again.

*********

I JUST NEED SOME SPACE.

.... Without you in it.

*********

DO I LOOK FAT IN THIS DRESS?

We haven't had a fight in a while.

*********

NO, PIZZA'S FINE.

.... You cheap slob!

*********

I JUST DON'T WANT A BOYFRIEND NOW.

I just don't want you as a boyfriend now.

*********

I DON'T KNOW, WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO?

I can't believe you have nothing planned.

*********

COME HERE.

My puppy does this, too.

*********

I LIKE YOU, BUT...

I don't like you.

*********

OF COURSE I LOVE YOU.

.... Just not in that way.

*********

YOU NEVER LISTEN.

You never listen.

*********

WE'RE MOVING TOO QUICKLY.

I'm not going to sleep with you until I find out if this guy at the gym has a girlfriend.

*********

I'LL BE READY IN A MINUTE.

I'm ready, but I'm going to make you wait because I know you will.

*********

OH, NO, I'LL PAY FOR MYSELF.

I'm just being nice; there's no way I'm going dutch.

*********

OH YES!!! RIGHT THERE!!

Well, near there; I just want to get this over with.

*********

I'M JUST GOING OUT WITH THE GIRLS.

We're gonna get sloppy and make fun of you and your friends.

*********

gula-gula pun guna bt kempen ek..huhu

video lawak...

strategi polis trafik..

Man at Beach..

Nasib seorang Guru

MPV KELUARAN PROTON YG TERBARU....

Petua Elak Selipar Hilang Masa Sembahyang Jumaat

Only In mAlAysIa...

kIsAh sI pEmAlAs.....

Pada masa dahulu, ada sebuah kampung dimana semua rakyatnya amat rajinbelaka tidak ada yang malas.

Jadi pada suatu hari, rajanya membuat pengumuman hendak mencari
seorangyang malas.

Semasa perhimpunan itu, adalah seorang lelaki mengaku Katanya :
"saya adalah yang paling malas"

Raja pun bertanya : "apa tahap malas awak?"
Lalu jawab lelaki tersebut :"kalau saya hendak makan, ada orangyangmenyuapkan saya".

Tiba-tiba datang seorang lelaki lagi : "Saya lebih malas lagi dari dia tuanku".

Tuanku pun bertanya kepadanya : "sampai mana pulak tahap malas awak?"
maka jawabnya : "Kalau saya makanpun, sampai ada orang tolongkunyahkan".

Maka raja pun terdiam?

Tanpa disangka2 datang seorang budak lelaki datang kepadanya sambil berkata :
"saya adalah yang paling malas tuanku".

Raja pun bertanya, : "bagaimana pula tahap kemalasan awak?"
budak itu pun menjawab : "Nak cite pun malas".

Helloooo...any body home!!!!...

Assalamualaikum...

boleh saya masuk???

dah 4 hari saya tak makan,,,

ada makanan lebih tak???..

Short Stories